When I got divorced at age 42, the first thing my parents asked me was if I planned to get remarried. That’s the thing about Pakistani immigrant culture; that our self worth is entirely defined by the quality of man we hold on our arm. As I began wondering what my future held, I started realizing that I didn’t really want a husband in my near future. And as I filtered through the apps, I learned more and more about myself but most importantly, how my self worth had somehow become intertwined with how many likes and swipes I could get on my profile.
Old school misogyny coupled with modern day dating apps has confused then modern woman into believing that her self worth was somehow tied to a man. As a Muslim woman, I was born hearing that marriage was half of faith but what I didn’t hear was that it wasn’t half of my identity. Yet I conflated the two, thinking that I was incomplete unless I was married.
I have nothing against marriage or coupledom. I have something against the idea that it somehow completes us as women. Being a wife should not be our only goal and we, as woman, should strive to be much more.
I also have nothing against stay at home moms, if that’s what you’re thinking. Modern day economics, however, have made it very infeasible for the stay at home mom situation. What happens if life thrusts you into the…
